


[no one wanted this, why are we still here]

by falconwritesfanfiction



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Author is sleep deprived and lazy, Gen, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, teen for swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29413344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconwritesfanfiction/pseuds/falconwritesfanfiction
Summary: dreamisstillmissing: howdy hoedycolorblind loser: thats my linetexas man: this is deffo flirting
Relationships: Everyone is friends with everyone except for the people that are enemies
Comments: 1
Kudos: 99





	1. dreamisstillmissing added 36 others to the mental ward

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [[please stop texting me i'm in class]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26490322) by [itisjosh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh). 



> dreamisstillmissing - Dream  
> colorblind loser - George  
> texas man - Sapnap  
> muffin man - Badboyhalo  
> diamondbitch - Skeppy  
> hannahxx - hannahxxrose  
> shark child - Foolish_Gamers  
> fruit - fruitberries  
> h94 - HBomb94  
> Samnook - Awesamdude  
> RAGE but pretty - JustaMinx  
> jackmanifall - JackManifoldTV  
> punzo - Punz  
> egirl overlord - F1NN5TER  
> quackquacklmao - Quackity  
> mother puffy - CaptainPuffy  
> beaver face - Spifey  
> 5cup - 5uppp  
> tapLOL - TapL  
> branding nightmare - Smajor1995  
> american innit - Purpled  
> niki my love - Nihachu  
> cat furry - Antfrost  
> slimecicle - Slimecicle  
> anxiety on stilts - Ranboo  
> fox furry - Fundy  
> the king - Eret  
> Philza Minecraft - Philza  
> karlos - Karl  
> british purpled - Tommy  
> wimblur soup - Wilbur  
> bee boi - Tubbo  
> dictator - Schlatt  
> megapvp - megapvp  
> vurb - JustVurb  
> zelk - zelk  
> blood god - Technoblade

**5:33 PM**

**dreamisstillmissing** added 36 others to **the mental ward**

**dreamisstillmissing** : howdy hoedy

**colorblind loser** : thats my line

**texas man** : this is deffo flirting

**colorblind loser** : @texas man please stfu

**RAGE but pretty** : why are we here

**niki my love** : hi minx! <3

**5cup** : uh

**bee boi** : 5UPPPPPPPPPP

**5cup** : hi tubbo!

**british purpled** : BIG MAN TUBBO

**bee boi** : HI TOMMY

**american innit** : i dont want to be here

**american innit** left **the mental ward**

**dreamisstillmissing** : oh no you dont

**dreamisstillmissing** added **american innit** to **the mental ward**

**dreamisstillmissing** : no one leaves this place

**the king** : aw come on

**the king** : scott, ranboo, and i were gonna get our nails done later :(

**anxiety on stilts** : are we not going?

**branding nightmare** : you're telling me i canceled an among us lobby just to not get a manicure?

**dreamisstillmissing** : i cant control what you do irl but no leaving the chat

**american innit** left **the mental ward**

**jackmanifall** left **the mental ward**

**cat furry** left **the mental ward**

**fox furry** left **the mental ward**

**Philza Minecraft** left **the mental ward**

**TapLOL** left **the mental ward**

**megapvp** left **the mental ward**

**dictator** left **the mental ward**

**dreamisstillmissing** : sigh

**slimecicle** : so can i have the wifi password?

**egirl overlord** : we had a wifi password??

**zelk** : how have you idiots been streaming if you don't have the wifi password?

**slimecicle** : we havent thats the thing

**vurb** : streaming is like- 

**vurb** : your jobs

**vurb** : have you not been doing your jobs for the last month?

**egirl overlord** : ........

**slimecicle** : .................

**zelk** : sigh


	2. dre: this is sweet and all, but the fourth wall needs repairing

**3:23 PM**

**dreamisstillmissing** added 8 others to **the mental ward**

 **dreamisstillmissing** : please stop leaving

 **Philza Minecraft** : No promises, sorry Dream

 **egirl overlord** : charlie and ig ot the wifi password!

 **slimecicle** : fuck yeah we did!

 **niki my love** : eret how'd the manicure go?

 **the king** : _[image sent]_

 **the king** : _[image sent]_

 **the** **king** : @anxiety on stilts 

**anxiety on stilts** : yeah?

 **the king** : show niki your nails later

 **anxiety on stilts** : k

 **karlos** : aleeeeeeeexxxxxxx

 **quackquacklmao** : yes karl?

 **karlos** : can i borrow your notes?

 **quackquacklmao** : bold of you to assuem i took notes

 **texas man** : bold of you to assuem he took notes

 **colorblind loser** : you 2 are ridiculosly in sync

 **colorblind loser** : you even made the same spelling error

 **colorblind loser** : its scary

 **samnook** : i love how there are like five different convos going on at once

 **punzo** : yeah lmao

 **dreamisstillmissing** : okay so i have an announcenment

 **dreamisstillmissing** : the author wanted everyone reading to know a few things

 **blood god** : hurry it up green boi

 **dreamisstillmissing** : shut up techno

 **dreamisstillmissing** : so anyways,

 **dreamisstillmissing** : the author wanted me to tell the readers that she likes to break the fourth wall a lot and updates will be every other day (hopefully)

 **dreamisstillmissing** : chapter lengths may vary depending on the amount of ideas she has, and, uh......

 **dreamisstillmissing** : i think thats it

 _ **admin**_ : yeah thats everything dre

 _ **admin**_ : also one last last thing

_**admin** changed **dreamwasstillmissing** to **dre**_

**dre** : why would you do that

 _ **admin**_ : suck it green boy

 **wimblur** **soup** : i like them

 _ **admin**_ : thanks wilbur

 **dre** : alright, that aside, who are our best builders?

 **colorblind loser** : @shark child

 **hannahxx** : @samnook

 **fox furry** : me

 **branding nightmare** : @shark child

 **mother puffy** : my son Foolish, also Sam, and maybe Scott

 **branding nightmare** : aww, thank you Puffy! <33

 **mother puffy** : <333

 **british purpled** : @samnook, he built the Big Innit Hotel!!!!

 **samnook** : best project i've ever worked on honestly

 **diamondbitch** : @muffin man is teh bedst bulikre you idisoots

 **muffin man** : thank you skeppy, but one thing...

_**muffin man** has changed **diamond bitch** to **skeppy <3**_

**bee boi** : SIMP

 **vurb** : SIMPPPPP

 **blood** **god** : SIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPP

 **muffin man** : :(

 **skeppy <3**: dont beully BAd s youa assjherloes

 _ **admin**_ : skeppy is just me not correcting spelling errors lmao

 **dre** : so by a collective vote, @shark child and @samnook have been declared best builders

 **shark child** : oh thanks you guys! i really dont think i deserve that title though

 **mother puffy** : no son

 **mother puffy** : you are the best

 **mother puffy** : accept your fate

 **dre** : this is sweet and all, but the fourth wall needs repairing

 **samnook** : on it

 **samnook** : @sharkchild cmon foolish we've got building to do

 **shark child** : sigh


	3. Philza Minecraft: Tommy, is this your way of saying you didn't want me to adopt you?

**4:08 AM**

**british purpled** : children are like pokemon cards

 **bee boi** : elborate please

 **british purpled** : can be bought, sold, used, forced to fight to the death, and traded

 **Philza Minecraft** : Tommy, is this your way of saying you didn't want me to adopt you?

 **wimblur soup** : yes father unadopt him

 **wimblur soup** : hes a bitch

 **blood god** : i agree

 **blood god** : please get rid of tommy

 **Philza Minecraft** : I will not be getting rid of him

 **Philza Minecraft** : Although he has made me consider it

 **american innit** : haha suck it british me

 **british purpled** : shut your mouth american me

 **hannahxx** : puffy, minx and/or niki?

 **RAGE but pretty** : YES QUEEN

 **mother puffy** : yeah Hannah?

 **niki my love** : how can we help?

 **hannahxx** : i almost burned my house down

 **niki my love** : omg are you okay?

 **hannahxx** : im okay, but the cake i tried to make isnt

 **mother puffy** : @RAGE but pretty get in the car

 **mother puffy** : @hannahxx omw


	4. british purpled: i just wanted grilled cheese

**2:45 PM**

**wimblur soup** : well its 2:45 PM

**egirl overlord** : wake up from snoring open dms

**skeppy <3**: cnakj of ered beull bye rteh beedh

**dictator** : vape is charged and snapchat's (@texas man) dead

_**admin**_ : whats popppppppppiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**branding nightmare** : whats popppppppppppppppppppinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**RAGE but pretty** : (@niki my love) shes beauty, shes grace

**niki my love** : awwwww thank you minx!! <33

**colorblind loser** : (@texas man) (s)he has a profile picture of an anime girls face

**texas man** : fuck off

**the king** : is it just me or does anyone else smell smoke?

**anxiety on stilts** : Tommy told me not to say anything, but.....

**anxiety on stilts** : I think we're in danger?

**punzo** : oh god

**punzo** : @fox furry, @cat furry, @TapLOL, and @jackmanifall, assemble a strike squad

**punzo** : @shark child, @fruit, @h94, and @Samnook, get the fire extinguishers

**punzo** : and @dreamisstillmissing, take @bee boi and get Tommy out of the culinary wing

**punzo** : we will fix this

**british purpled** : i just wanted grilled cheese


	5. bee boi: we are not inf act on hour way

Punz had never been more scared in his life. If you knew anything, and I mean anything, about Tommy, you knew he was a terrible cook. He shouldn't even be let within a 600 mile radius of a kitchen, but it was apparent that larger methods of 'Tommy Proofing' had to be done.

"Come on guys, where the hell are you..." He muttered to himself, anxiously waiting for the everyone else to arrive. Dream was supposed to shoot him a message when Tommy was out, but Punz hadn't gotten anything yet. It was safe to say that he was worried.

* * *

**2:57 PM**

**me** : @dreamisstillmissing where tf are you??

 **dreamisstillmissing** : calm down, were on our way

 **bee boi** : we are not inf act on hour way

 **me** : well please hurry the FUCK up

* * *

"Goddammit, you idiots." Punz sighed. "I guess I'll just go by myself."

Starting down the hallway towards the culinary wing, he could almost hear everyone now.

_"Why'd you let Tommy into the culinary wing again?"_

_"How does a 16-year-old manage to cause so much damage?"_

_"He doesn't even go here!"_

He snickered at the last thought. Punz had always been a big fan of _Mean Girls_ , but we're getting off track here. The culinary wing, Tommy, and all of the mass destruction and chaos that seemed to follow all of Punz's friends around, was just a few feet ahead.

Then, the firemen arrived.


	6. anxiety on stilts: well the thought is what counts right?

**7:32 PM**

**vurb:** will someone please tell me why the fuck the fire department was here today?

**punzo** : tldw - tommy mad grilled cheese but it turned out terribly wrong

**5cup** : wait what?

**british** **purpled** : i am no longer allowed at the university

_**admin**_ : sucks to suck child

**british purpled** : no

**Philza Minecraft** : Tommy, I am very disappointed in you.

**blood god** : hahahahahaha sucks to suck you stupid

**wimblur soup** : yeah stupid child sucks to suck

**Philza Minecraft** : Will, Techno, please stop insulting your brother.

**dre** : yeah wilbur and techno shut up

**Philza Minecraft** : Dream.

**dre** : yes sir shutting up

**anxiety on stilts** : hey @hannahxx whyd you need minx niki and puffy the other time?

**hannahxx** : well uh,

**hannahxx** : i was making a cake to celebrate your YooTooz dropping.....

**hannahxx** : it didnt turn out so great

**hannahxx** : hence why i needed help....

**anxiety on stilts** : oh

**anxiety on stilts** : well the thought is what counts right?


	7. wimblur soup: he's very not smart

**8:54 AM**

**british purpled** : i am now dead

 **Samnook** : can confirm, Tommy is dead

 **blood god** : can also confirm, the child is deceased

 **Philza Minecraft** : Will, please don't say what I think you're going to say.

 **wimblur soup** : :]

 **quackquacklmao** : how is he dead?

 **quackquacklmao** : i am confused

 **blood god** : _[image sent]_

 **wimblur soup** : _[image sent]_

 **Samnook** : _[image sent]_

 ** _admin_** : one thing real quick sam

 _ **admin**_ _has changed **Samnook** to **handsamdude**_

 ** _admin_** : perfect

 **handsamdude** : <3

 _ **admin**_ : :o

 _ **admin**_ : <33

 **mother puffy** : this is extremely wholesome

 **dre** : hey @blood god how'd you get tommy stuck in there?

 **blood god** : he willingly went down with a ladder and then we took the ladder

 **wimblur soup** : he's very not smart

 **british purpled** : fuck you both


	8. megapvp: one of these days i am going to stab all of you

**10:02 AM**

**megapvp** : i though i had this chat muted

**megapvp** : oh wait

**megapvp** : @vurb unmuted it

**megapvp** : one of these days i am going to stab all of you

**megapvp** : actually

**megapvp** : @RAGE but pretty

**megapvp** : kill half and i'll get rid of the rest

**RAGE but pretty** : let me leave the girls, fruit, phil, karl, and eret and we have a deal

**megapvp** : fine

**zelk** : i love how minx and mega are just discussing murder plans while most of us are in class

**cat furry** : yeah lol

**vurb** : imagine wanting to murder me

**vurb** : i am a being of pure good

**megapvp** : that is a fucking lie

**egirl overlord** : it actually isnt??

**TapLOL** : finn have you met vurb?

**TapLOL** : he is not a being of pure good

**egirl overlord** : well-

**egirl overlord** : you may have a point

**vurb** : what the fuck is taht supposed to mean??????

**megapvp** : it means we all hate you

**Philza Minecraft** : Everyone, phones away in class.

**vurb** : no

**Philza Minecraft** : Vurb.

**vurb** : phone is now off

**Philza Minecraft** : Mega, please stop making plans to murder everyone.

**megapvp** : give me $500 and vurbs severed head

**Philza Minecraft** : $250 and an A+ in my class.

**megapvp** : .....

**megapvp** :deal


	9. slimecicle: computers are the worst

**6:06 PM**

**bee boi** : so im sat here

 **bee boi** : on my conputre

 **bee boi** : and theres nofuc kidg calendsar

 **bee boi** : what the FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

 **slimecicle** : i know bro

 **slimecicle** : computers are the worst

 **TapLOL** : computers are literally what we do our jobs on

 **TapLOL** : why are they bad?

 **bee boi** : BECAUSE TEHY DONT FUCJKISN HAVE CALEBDASR!!!!!

 **branding nightmare** : why do you need a calendar tubbo?

 **bee boi** : i gotta plan out my streamas scott wtf do you think?

 **branding nightmare** : legit reason, but you have a phone, don't you?

 **bee boi** : yeah why

 **branding nightmare** : why not use your phone calendar?

 **bee boi** : cause i dont wanna

 **branding nightmare** : that's fair


	10. wheaston: i aint gonna sing if thats what yall want

**colorblind loser** : i just spoke to TommyInnit

**dre** : he said give me a goddamn minute

**texas man** : i said bitch two posts one month

**muffin man** : language!

**skeppy <3**: ipaisd fore the diskj noat a fucnxkin manheunyt

**muffin man** : skeppy! language!

**wimblur soup** added **wheaston** to **the mental ward**

**wheaston** : wtf

**wheaston** : oh

**wheaston** : i aint gonna sing if thats what yall want

**bee boi** : please weston

**wheatson** : ....

**wheatson** : maybe

**bee boi** : POG!!

**dre** : wholesome much ?

**texas man** : shhhhhhhh

**niki my love** : hehe

**RAGE but pretty** : NIKI NIHAVAUH IM GOING TO MURDER YOU

**RAGE but pretty** : SHE STKEO MAH FUCNKING CAT

**niki my love** : but he's my cat?

**RAGE but pretty** : I HA D HIMS FIDTRS

**the king** : shhhhh minx

**the king** : everything will be okay

**RAGE but pretty** : NO ITS FICKING WONTS

**the king** : well i cant help you then


	11. fruit: fruit yes its 3 am

**3:08 AM**

**f** **ruit** : @h94 please unlock my netflix acc

**h94** : nah

**fruit** : please h i just want to watch glee

_**admin**_ : oh yes glee is the best

**mother puffy** : h unlock fruit's netflix account.

**5cup** : what even happened?

**fruit** : i was watching kakeguri and the next thing i knew i was on the kids netflix

**fruit** : i cant switch it back

**jackmainfall** : watch sofia the first or something

**fruit** : i could do that

**fruit** : ....

**fruit** : im gonna go do that

**h94** : fruit no its 3 am

**fruit** : fruit yes its 3 am

**slimecicle** : tired

**cat furry** : also tired

**mother puffy** : go to sleep

**slimecicle** : nah

**cat furry** : no <3

_**admin**_ : eret just dmed me

_**admin**_ : the chat is gonna be deactivated till like 9 am

_**admin**_ : please go to sleep

_**admin** has deactivated **the mental ward**_


	12. Philza Minecraft: I don't care.

**11:15** **AM**

**american innit** : tommy please you need to clean your room

**british purpled** : nah

**Philza Minecraft** : I agree with Purpled, Tommy.

**Philza Minecraft** : Please clean your room.

**british purpled** : you'll just make match socks

**british purpled** : i dont wanna match socks

**british purpled** : its the worst

**Philza Minecraft** : I don't care.

**Philza Minecraft** : Go match your socks or I'll confiscate your phone.

**british purpled** : . . . . .

**british purpled** : fine

**wimblur soup** : howd you get him to do that??

**Philza Minecraft** : I threatened to take away his phone.

**Philza Minecraft** : I'll do the same to you if you don't get your missing assignments in.

**wimblur soup** : i will eatsa nd

**wimblur soup** : the assingmest s will disappera

**Philza Minecraft** : Will.

**wimblur soup** : hhhhhhh okay

**blood god** : haha L

**Philza Minecraft** : Techno, please. You need to finish your Shakespeare project. It's been due for two weeks now.

**blood god** : ill do it tomorrow

**Philza Minecraft** : You better, or Floof will stay with me until you get it done.

**blood god** : yessir i will be right on it

**Philza Minecraft** : Good.


	13. anxiety on stilts: Painteth the sockets in the mure dull green.  Men striveth but seldom receiveth rich.

**3:09 AM**

**Philza Minecraft** : Techno is yond projecteth done?

**Philza Minecraft** : Waiteth what the alas?

_**admin**_ : so uh

_**admin**_ : tech asked me to translate everything you guys say into shakespeare

_**admin**_ : sorry?

**5cup** : wherefore arent thee did translate?

_**admin**_ : he said i didnt hafta translate myself

_**admin**_ : sorry mr. cup

**5cup** : its chill dont w'rry

**cat furry** : this is so weird

**cat furry** : waiteth wherefore isnt ev'rything diff'rent

_**admin**_ : language is weird

**blood god** : _evil chuckle intensifies_

_**admin**_ : calm down edgelord

**british purpled** : waiteth alloweth me tryeth something

**british purpled** : just hath killed a mistress humour valorous

**bee boi** : oh mine own gosh i loveth yond so much

**anxiety on stilts** : Painteth the sockets in the mure dull green. Men striveth but seldom receiveth rich.

**jackmanifall** : ranboo colours me but what the alas

**anxiety on stilts** : i hack'd into the systems

**anxiety on stilts** : mostly

_**admin**_ : this is a chaotic mess


End file.
